Unconditional Love and Submission

by Irene Webster
In recent days, the Lord had me reflect again on what submission to a husband means. Prior to being saved I had a horrific experience with my first husband due to his mental problem. My divorce culminated in abuse and violence.
Three years later during my relationship with my fiancée, I surrendered to Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and out of obedience to God I separated from him. However, we ended up marrying and for 19 years before his passing away, had an almost ideal relationship. It was during this marriage when I learned how a marriage should work in the eyes of God.
Without any questions, I willingly submitted myself to my husband’s headship and authority, despite his many foolish mistakes. Although the majority of his decisions were sound, he usually did so without consulting me. However, one of his decisions failed miserably and left us financially destitute. I had urged my husband prior that we should pray over it together. However, he did not sense the same urgency as I did, so we did not pray together.
This is when I believe God broke him of pride. He repented for not listening to me and began asking what I thought was best. He realized the gift I was to him because of the insight God gave me. From this point on, our marriage was more of a partnership with each one of us deferring to the other.
We both came to a point in our understanding of God ‘s intention for a good marriage, both man and woman, operate out of love, trying to please the other more than themselves. Even more than this, they seek God ‘s will. It was because of praying together, and mutual submission, that our marriage grew exponentially, all starting with the breaking of pride and control.
We both learned how to submit to one another. It turned out my husband needed my respect desperately and I needed to be loved but the reality was our mutual respect was a demonstration of unconditional love, and this type of love sacrifices ‘self-will’ just as Jesus Christ did by submitting to his Father and sacrificing his own life by dying for his bride, the church.
Strange as it might seem, more than anything I had a desire to submit to his leadership, all the while I felt protected. It is hard to explain, but if a Christian couple truly loves the Lord Jesus Christ, putting His will first in their lives creates a mutual tapestry of submitted and sacrificial love much like the sacrificial blood our Lord shed to cover our sins. Think on this beloved…
In His matchless love,
Rev Irene


Unconditional Love and Submission Part 2
LOVE, What Is It? Saint Valentine’s Day was, and is actually a pagan holiday, celebrating love and involved Cupid, the God of love celebrating erotic love!
Wikipedia says this: Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine is celebrated annually on February 14. It originated as a Christian feast day honoring one or two early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine, and through later folk traditions, has become a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance and love in many regions of the world.
Funny, they left out its real origin from the Greek and Roman culture where they celebrated the God Eros or erotic love which had nothing to do with Christian love…
The secular world further describes love listing a total of 8 Different Types of Love:
1. “Eros” or Erotic Love: The first kind of love is Eros, which is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. Eros represents the idea of often uncontrollable sexual passion and desire which burns out quickly and is centered on the selfish aspects of physical pleasure. The ancient Greeks considered Eros to be dangerous as it involves a “loss of control”.
Synonyms for Eros Love
• ardor - intensity, zeal
• concupiscence - strong desire, sexual desire
• eroticism - state of sexual arousal, insistent sexual impulse or desire
• horniness - desiring sexual gratification, excited sexually
• itch - to have a restless desire or hankering for something
• lust - usually intense or unbridled sexual desire
• Passion - sexual desire
2. “Philia” or Affectionate Love: The second type of love is philia, or friendship. The Philia is a type of love which is felt among friends who’ve endured hard times together free from the intensity of sexual attraction.
3. “Storage” or Familiar Love: Storage is a love without physical attraction, having to do with family and is the natural kind of love which is shared between children and parents.
4. “Ludus” or Playful Love: Ludus has Eros or erotica in it but is a playful form of love like between young lovers.
5. “Mania” or Obsessive Love: Mania love is a type of love which leads a partner into manic possessiveness. This type of love helps the one obsessed to reinforce their self-esteem.
6. “Pragma” or Enduring Love: Pragma is a love which is developed over time. It goes beyond the physical, not casual, and it is a unique unity. For example, can find pragma in married couples or in friendships that have been together for years. Pragma requires effort, compromises, patience and tolerance on both sides and isn’t easy to find.
7. “Philautia” or Self Love: The Greeks believed in order to care for others; we must first learn to care for ourselves. This form of self-love is not the unhealthy vanity and self-obsession focused on personal fame, gain and fortune as is the case with Narcissism. But the Greeks believed you cannot share what you do not have. Thus self-love. They believed the way to be happy is to unconditionally love yourself which involves accepting all one’s negative characteristics. Obviously, most of the previous types are worldly, pagan perceptions and very different from Christianity!!!
8. “Agape” or God like Selfless Love: The highest and most radical type of love according to the Greeks is agape, or selfless unconditional love. Agape is what some call spiritual love. It is an unconditional love, boundless and free from desires and expectations, and loves regardless of the flaws and shortcomings of others.
Agape is the love which accepts, forgives and is the opposite of conditional love. Conditional love is selfish and ego-centered only lasting as long as certain desires are met. Some of the conditional expectations are as follows:
• I will love you only if you make me feel good about myself and make me happy.
• I will love you if you do what I say.
• I will love you only if you keep your good looks.
• I will love you only if you are successful.
• I will love you if you make a lot of money and are a good provider.
• I will love you only if you agree with me.
• I will love you only if you keep accept my bad behaviors.
• I will love you only if you are a great lover.
• I will love you only if you behave right.
• I will love you only if you give up your friends, church, and family.
• I would love you if you gave up your career.
• I will love you only if you love me.
Have you thought any of these things or experienced them from those you thought you loved?
Ask yourself, what different types of love are you currently experiencing and how are they impacting your life? Are you happy? Are your “loved ones” happy? Are we concerned about our love walks? Do we celebrate love once a year? How do we do it? What is our purpose? Is it selfish? Is there a motive for giving love or is it sacrificial?
My friend, this is where God comes in. I believe we all want unconditional love which is something only God can do. He loves you so much even in your most depraved state He adores you! Who else would send His son to die in your place? He demonstrated His great love for humanity by sending His Son to earth in human form to take our place for the punishment of our sins by dying on a cross! God alone sets the standard for unconditional love by showing mankind over and over of His faithful examples of protection, provision, and meeting every need when His children would simply cry out to Him!
The apostle Paul explained love this way: If I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it does me no good at all. And if I have the gift of prophecy [and speak a new message from God to the people], and understand all mysteries, and [possess] all knowledge; and if I have all [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love [reaching out to others], I am nothing.
Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], and endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. 1 Cor.13:3-9, 13-14 AMP
But as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for the gift of special knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part [for our knowledge is fragmentary and incomplete]. And now there remain faith [abiding trust in God and His promises], hope [confident expectation of eternal salvation], love [unselfish love for others growing out of God’s love for me], and these three [the choicest graces]; but the greatest of these is love. Pursue [this] love [with eagerness, make it your goal]
Too high a requirement? Impossible you say? No, not impossible. All things are possible for those who believe! If only we know God, and his love, loving others even the unlovable will come out of the overflow of our hearts because of His grace and tender mercy has poured His love in our hearts! Yes, we can love others. We can forgive others. We can forbear, overlook offenses.
But let me be clear here, I’m not saying to let yourself be a doormat or a punching bag. No. Adamantly no! Rather, I am saying the love which God puts in your heart will help you overcome abuse, callousness, and even yes, self-love will even help you walk away, when necessary, but always forgiving and releasing and praying for this person.
Beloved, if you find yourself in a relationship which is empty, not fulfilling, check your heart. Why are you there? Is it to meet your needs or is it to be a blessing? Jesus sacrificially loved the bride and laid down his life for her and we as believers are called to love others as Christ loved. So let’s not love conditionally but strive to love unconditionally as Jesus demonstrated and Paul suggested we do. Let God pour out his love on you and let this overflow pour out on others!
Rev Irene
For your consideration to study to show yourself approved:
Submission, submit, subjection. 1 Timothy 1:3-7 …warn and admonish certain individuals not to teach any different doctrine… Vs 5 whereas the object and purpose of our instruction, and charge is love which springs from a pure heart, and a good conscience and sincere faith. Vs 6 but certain individuals have missed the mark and wandered away into vain arguments and discussions and purposeless talk. Verse 7 …and they have no understanding either of the words and terms they use or the subjects about which they make dogmatic assertions.
Types of submission: 5293 Greek concordance: to subordinate; to obey; to be under obedience, put under, subdue unto, be, make subject to, unto, be put in subjection to, under, submit self-unto.
The question is who is God saying must submit to another? And secondly how, and with what attitude?
Subject: Ephesians 5:24, Rom.13:1
Subjection: Heb 2:8; 12:9
Subjection to husband 1 Peter 3:1; 3:5
Submit: 1 Cor 16:16, Eph 5:22, Eph 5:24, Eph 5:21, Col 3:18
Submitting: Eph 5:21
Suggested reading for couples:
Love Languages by Gary Chapman

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